Dating Pt2: 26 Principles!

3561043864_f394967dbe_tThere are 4 types of dating relationships:

Pre-arranged marriage: Cultural & biblical expression – While not practiced in Aussie culture, it’s quite popular in certain cultural groups around the world and has ancient biblical origins. To a teenager it’s the worst idea in the world but to a parent of a 5yr old princess I think it’s a brilliant idea…hehe.

Courtship: Biblical & traditional expression – This was very popular until mid 1900’s where it was exchanged for the more casual non-Christian dating. I recommend this type of dating for teenagers because teenagers don’t even know what they want tomorrow, let alone who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Parents need to take a vested interest in their teens lives and help them navigate their experience of dating relationships. Courtship dating basically involves a potential young man who is interested in a girl to meet with the parents of the girl and express his interests and intentions with the girl. In one sense the potential suitor dates dad before he dates the girl and if he gets approval then a date is the next step in the process.

Non-Christian dating: Heathen expression – I don’t recommend this because of the devastating and un-biblical consequences of it. The English word dating was introduced into the English vernacular in 1896 as a synonym for prostitution, the transaction of money for sexual favours. The downward spiral of society over the last 100 years has reshaped our understanding and expression of dating relationships and marriage. This type of dating involves looks like, hook up, shack up, break up, repeat… The world’s idea is try before you but but God’s idea is commit before you consummate. Let’s look at the last type of dating relationship.

Christian dating: Biblical expression – The ultimate goal of this dating relationship is marriage. I recommend this for young adults or mature adults who have left home and are responsible for themselves and make their own decisions as a responsible adult. This type of dating is about building a legacy for the future and not for selfish gain.

Here are 26 principles of a dating relationship (1 Corinthians 7 & other scriptures):

  1.  Don’t have sexual intercourse until you’re married (v1)
  2. If your sexual desire is strong, get married (v2,9,36)
  3. Once married don’t deprive each other of sex (v5)
  4. Identify whether you have the gift of singleness or not (v7)
  5. Maximise your singleness for God (v35)
  6. Don’t pursue dating until you are ready for marriage
  7. Be reasonable with your expectations
  8. Don’t overlook whom God has put in front of you
  9. Remember, going on a date is not dating (1 Tim 5:1-2)
  10. Getting a date requires men to initiate the event
  11. Only date one person at a time
  12. Don;t have a dating relationship with an unbeliever (2 Cor 6:14)
  13. Only invest into dating someone you are attracted to
  14. Only marry someone who agrees with you on gender roles & family numbers
  15. Don;t give your heart away too quick (Pr 4:23)
  16. Men, is she modest? (1 Tim 2:9-10)
  17. Men, does she have character? (Pr 31)
  18. Men, does she have a negative influence on you? (Book of Pr)
  19. Men, can you provide for her? (1 Tim 5:8)
  20. Men, will she follow your leadership?
  21. Ladies, are you able to follow his lead and help him? (Gen 2:18)
  22. Ladies, do you feel safe with him?
  23. Ladies, is he tough enough to cope with pressure?
  24. Ladies, is he a 1 woman man? (Job 31:1)
  25. Ladies, do you want yours sons to be like him?
  26. Ladies, how valuable are you to him? (Eph 5:25)

Lead the Change!


7 Responses to “Dating Pt2: 26 Principles!”

  1. Corey, love reading your blogs. Funny that you should say that you like the idea of arranged marriage for your 5yr old princess because my 6yr old prince charming still maintains that he thinks he might marry your princess one day! 🙂

    • Corey Turner Says:

      Thanks Jode for the encouragement. Maybe we might have to have a formal chat about the future of our 2 kids and see what we can arrange. hehehe…


  2. I am glad I was at this sermon to listen to this.

  3. Brilliant… Clear, Challenging and Convicting…

  4. Corey Turner Says:

    Hi gortexgrrl,

    I have invented the phrase as well. I am referring to the theology behind it in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9 (read it). The Apostle Paul affirmed in his own words that he had a gift of celibacy (singleness).


  5. gortexgrrl Says:

    Even “gift of celibacy” is dubious, since Paul doesn’t refer to it as such. He’s talking about marriage and singleness in terms of our liberty to choose one or the other, but that one should certainly get married (“gameo”), if one cannot “contain”. By concession, and not commandment from the Lord, he says that he’d prefer that every one could abide as he does (ie. single, celibate), but that we each have our own gift of God, suggesting he had an ability to “contain” or something else not specifically stated — perhaps a passion for a mission that exceeded his desire for marriage, sex. However, earlier and later verses in that chapter suggest that this is the exception, and that it is not only normative to get married (verse 2-5), but that it is our right (v. 27-28, 36,39, 1 Cor 9:5).

    Nowhere do the scriptures suggest that people who want to marry must first figure out if they have “the gift of singleness”.

  6. I love your blog. I just stumbled upon it and the posts are good. Keep them coming. =)

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