How to kill your CHURCH!

How to kill your church

How to kill your church

Some leaders

don’t realise that their sincere and well intentioned efforts are actually killing their church and ministry rather than partnering with God to grow it. Here are some of the ways you can kill your church:

  • Don’t empower anyone to do ministry, do it all yourself.
  • Make sure you have all the best ideas and when somebody else shares a good idea say…”I was thinking that too”…everytime.
  • Compare your church with the other church down the road.
  • Organise prayer meetings where everyone pleads for lost people to enter the church doors rather than going out and engaging with pre-Christians.
  • Do the communion, announcements, prayer ministry and preaching in every service.
  • Pastorally care for everyone in the church.
  • Micromanage everything that happens in church life.
  • Don’t cast any vision for the future direction of the church.
  • Use words like ‘GLORY’ and the ‘ANOINTING’ in your preaching…every week.
  • Wave flags during worship.
  • Spend board and leadership meetings talking about everyone in the church.
  • Beat the sheep up every week in the pulpit.
  • Demand loyalty from everyone to you continually.
  • Surround yourself with people who only ever agree with you.
  • Do what everyone around you says.
  • Don’t clarify people’s jobs and roles in church life.
  • Allow services to run over time every week because apparently ‘God was moving’.
  • Constantly talk about how tired you are serving God.
  • Do the same format service each week.
  • Don’t confront undercurrent issues in church life.
  • Refuse to name the elephant in the room.
  • Don’t give any feedback to core team.
  • Give large responsibility to the first person who says, ‘they’d like to help’.
  • Keep core team away from your personal life and never have them over your house.
  • Never be transperant about your weaknesses but only share stories about your victories.
  • Refuse to be in a life group yourself because you’re too busy with other more important church matters.
  • Don’t inspire people to give but simply say, “We’re going to take the tithes & offerings up now” and leave it at that.
  • Preach through Leviticus for 6 months.
  • Stay in your office all week and never venture out into the community.
  • Never set a boundary for your work day but ring your loved ones at dinner time and tell them you have to stay at the office because there is so much work to do.
  • Don’t have a Sabbath day off weekly.
  • Never exercise your body.
  • Have the meanest person in church welcoming people at the front door as they enter.
  • Only ever hang out with other pastors and your core leaders.
  • Constantly open up the service for the same person to say, “Thus says the Lord…” every week.
  • Preach against sex, tattoos, alcohol consumption and rock music.
  • Under-resource the kids and youth ministry.
  • Don’t study the bible, just read every popular Christian magazine and bestselling book.
  • Only listen to Christian music and never venture into pop culture.
  • Be known by name by the checkout people at Koorong and Word bookstores.
  • Get up out of bed every morning, have a shower and drive to work without giving God any time to talk to you.

Lead the Change!

7 Responses to “How to kill your CHURCH!”

  1. chrisfarace Says:

    This is GREAT!

    A lot of these issues seem to be birthed out of pride..

    Great post! I love it!


  2. I’ve seen a few of those in action. 🙂

    (By the way … you might want to adjust Simone Turner’s URL in your blogroll.)

  3. Amazing, I thought i was the only one who felt this way. Good job getting your point across.

  4. Graham R Says:

    I’m beginning to think you must have had a life changing experience with a FLAG ! What’s the deal here ?

    Great blog Corey – keep it up.

    Graham R

  5. ann broome Says:

    great points, love them all, and agree with them all, especially the one about not sharing your weaknesses, we are not superhumans and have it all together, no matter how long the journey has been, my experience is that when we confess our own weaknesses it opens a door for others to share theirs without feeling condemmed. so bring it on !!. ann b

  6. Oh but Corey… I like flags. I’ve already ordered an Activate flag for the Conference!

  7. Rach Wallace Says:

    LOL you are funny, love the one about the meanest person in church on the door. Hilarious hehe xox

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